


everything I love is on the table

by greatwonfidence



Category: supermega
Genre: Blowjobs, M/M, Oral, Resolved Sexual Tension, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22729756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greatwonfidence/pseuds/greatwonfidence
Summary: “I’m sorry. I know it’s bad. I know it’s gross.”Justin squints. “What’s gross about it?”“Don’t make me explain.”“I kind of want you to.”
Relationships: Justin | Nothinbutlag/Ryan Magee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	everything I love is on the table

To set the scene briefly would be a disservice. It’s a setup almost two years in the making - years Ryan spent wracked with guilt, spent burying his feelings deep inside where no one could ever find them. Because if anyone found out he had feelings for Justin, of all people… it would mean something about  _ him _ , wouldn’t it? He’s only 26, sure, but there’s still a bad taste in his mouth every time he thinks about how Justin is younger than him.

It felt weird when he found out Justin was 19. It felt weird shopping for a gift for his 20th birthday. But then Justin flew in to celebrate his 21st with all of his LA friends, and of course Ryan said “stay with me,” and then asked him to keep staying when it was all said and done.

“You’re just drunk,” Justin had laughed, leaning back into Ryan’s couch. “You don’t mean that.”

“Sure I do,” Ryan had insisted, though the slur in his words might’ve indicated otherwise. “You could live here. Then you won’t have to fly here when I want to see you.”

“Mm.” Justin took a swig of his beer.

“Cause I want to see you a lot. And you’re not here a lot.”

“That’s nice of you to say.” Justin paused and looked down at his hands. He added meekly, “I wish I could be here.”

“Then be here.”

“Where is this coming from?” He laughed, unable to see this as anything but a joke that’s going a little too long. As cloudy as his head was, Ryan still registered that fact.

Ryan watched his friend. The streetlamp outside the window lit up one half of Justin’s face, giving him an angelic glow that contrasted against his tired face. The longer Ryan watched, the more confused Justin had started to look.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Ryan said, clearing his throat. “I just…”

Justin stared. Ryan stared, mouth slightly open, like if he just waited the words would have come out of their own accord.

Justin stood for just a moment, just long enough to move himself closer to Ryan, then he sat back down and leaned forward and enveloped his friend in a hug. Ryan squeezed. He drove Justin to the airport the next morning. They didn’t talk about it.

There isn’t a particular reason he comes back, but does he really need one? His friends are here in LA. Maybe the ticket was a little cheaper than it’s normally advertised as. Maybe he was just feeling lost. Whatever excuses run through his head, he doesn’t get the chance to use because Ryan welcomes him back warmly and happily without question.

“You don’t mind, right?”

Justin tunes in to the conversation late, pulling off his headphones quickly in an effort to catch up. Ryan’s looking at him expectantly, and Matt’s standing in the doorway.

Matt fills him in, “I just asked if Ryan could break things down so Jackson and I could head out early.”

“You’d have to wait, too,” Ryan says.

“Oh, that’s fine, yeah,” Justin moves the laptop off of his legs. “I can help, it’ll make things faster.

“Thanks guys.” Matt gives Ryan’s shoulder a hard pat and he waves as he leaves, closing the door behind him.

Justin sets to work immediately, getting up and making a beeline for the first XLR cable he sees. Ryan watches him with vague interest for a moment - the energy in his movements, the eagerness to get it done, or maybe it’s filtered through a want to please, to make them happy - but that’s strange. Strange to think that about your employee and friend. Strange to look at him and think his willingness to do things just because he’s asked is cute. Strange to wonder what else he’d do if asked.

Ryan goes back to removing SD cards to offload. He takes them into a different room to do that and, closing the door behind him, finally allows himself to let out the breath he’s been holding in.

He thinks about the silly jokes Justin tells and the way he laughs at them before he can get them out. He thinks about waking Justin up the last time he visited to take him to the airport, how bad he felt disturbing him when he looked so cute peacefully asleep. He thinks about how Justin might look underneath him, hair fanned out against the pillow and mouth open in a-

_ Gross,  _ he tells himself. _ You’re gross. Stop it. _

Ryan clicks around on the computer to start the transfer. He can’t do this now. He can’t start fantasizing about taking advantage of his employee, especially when he’s in the other room. And he’s Ryan’s guest - Ryan’s supposed to be in charge of keeping him safe and comfortable during his visit. What kind of host would he be if he threw a wrench into things like this?

The footage needs about ten minutes. He thinks Justin is probably still coiling cables. Ryan excuses the slip of his hand into his pants with the rationale that he knows the physical feelings won’t go away if ignored.

There’s only so much physical cleanup to do - most of the “breaking down” is setting the security alarm and locking up the office. Justin waits for a few minutes once the wires are away and his bag is packed, tapping his hands against his knees, but he grows bored quickly and decides to seek out Ryan.

He strolls leisurely through the corridors, looking for signs of life. He passes by the bathroom. He thinks back to the milk tub video and chuckles to himself. He considers going to the kitchen, but then he hears a quiet sound from behind a door he’d already walked past.

He’d forgotten the computer was even in that room; the door was never closed, so it didn’t register. Of course Ryan’s still transferring. Justin briefly considers knocking, but surely he’s not doing anything terribly private in the office.

He opens the door. Ryan’s back is to him so he can’t see for sure, but the way he jumps in shock, the way he yelps and his voice cracks and his face is so red-

“Oh my God,” Justin mutters.

“Holy shit, I’m sorry.” He’s still not breathing right. He can’t look at Justin now.

_ Way to go, fuckup. _

“It’s okay, it was my fault, I shouldn’t’ve-”

“It’s not your fault at all!” Ryan interjects. It’s meant to be a reassurance, but instead it gives Justin a reason to pause, to question. Ryan can almost see Justin’s thoughts cycling through each and every stupid hint he must’ve dropped over the years.

“Wait,” he says, quietly. “Are you… because of…”

Ryan’s too ashamed to respond right away and too ashamed to look him in the eye. He wishes his erection would calm itself down, it might make lying a little easier.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s bad. I know it’s gross.”

Justin squints. “What’s gross about it?”

“Don’t make me explain.”

“I kind of want you to.”

Ryan glances at the computer. Two minutes left on the transfer. “You’re my employee.”

“I feel like that’s not it.”

Ryan bites his lip. “And you’re younger than me.”

Justin waits a beat, like he expects there to be more. When nothing else comes, he crosses his arms. “I’m not like, a teenager, you know.”

“I do know.”

“I think we both know.”

It’s quiet again. Ryan stands up and half expects Justin to move back in reaction, but he doesn’t. He’s only a little taller than Justin, who’s watching him carefully.

Ryan’s taking a risk, but Justin doesn’t even glance at the broad hands gripping his slender shoulders. His eyes stay trained on Ryan’s. He shudders out a breath and nods, so slightly Ryan almost misses it.

Ryan pushes down, gently. Justin follows the lead and gets down onto his knees. The floorboards’ melodic creaking is the only sound in the silent office. Justin’s hands come up and make to take hold of Ryan’s thighs before he shoos them away. Justin immediately places them palms-down on his knees instead. He’s already hard, but makes no move to touch himself - he’s pretty sure he isn’t supposed to.

“Are you sure?” Ryan asks, breaking the silence. His hand rests on his belt buckle. Justin’s eyes flick between the shiny metal and his boss’s face. After a moment, he nods.

Ryan unbuckles his belt and pulls it from the loops, dropping it on the floor next to them. He steps out of his pants, then cups Justin’s face with his hand. He strokes sweetly, unable to keep a serious face when he feels heat rise to Justin’s cheek. He turns his hand so that now he’s tipping him up by the chin.

“You can use your hands now,” Ryan says, quieter than he means to. Nobody else is here, they both know.

“Can I use my mouth?”

Those five words alone conjure a quick series of overwhelming images in Ryan’s head, which pulses straight to his dick.

“Yeah,” he ends up saying, which doesn’t come close to conveying how he feels. 

But Justin gets it. He rises up onto his knees and grabs Ryan’s thighs, each of his fingers either touching the edge of his boxers or dancing just underneath the fabric. In a calculated move, he carefully presses his lower face against Ryan’s clothed cock and takes a deep inhale. It’s dizzying for both parties; Ryan grips the edge of the desk to stabilize himself.

On the exhale, Justin mouths up the outline, leaving tiny patches of saliva. 

“Fuck,” Ryan groans. He feels Justin’s snicker against his skin just as well as he feels Justin’s hands tug on his boxers. He shifts his thighs the slight measure necessary to make the slip-off easier. The cloth rests around his ankles. 

He watches Justin stare first, eyes trained on the head of his cock only inches from his face. Justin licks his lips and moves in, letting it first rest on the tip of his tongue then enveloping it with his lips. He sucks only that much of it to start, but it still sends Ryan’s mind reeling and weakens his knees.

“Is this your first time?” Ryan asks, because he isn’t sure how active a participant he should be.

“Mhm,” Justin mumbles around the occupation. There’s a mild tone of, what is it… bashfulness? Embarrassment?

“You’re doing great,” Ryan reassures. He meets Justin’s eye when the younger looks up and gives him an encouraging smile.

Justin responds by taking in more, slowly, running his tongue along the underside. Ryan’s eyes roll back and it takes all of his power to not buck his hips up into his friend’s mouth. Justin’s nails press into Ryan’s thighs and he moans with the effort of what feels like stretching his throat to fit Ryan’s thick cock.

It takes a little bit - Justin has to take a couple of quick breaks - but eventually he feels the satisfying collision of his nose meeting curly hair. He stays there for a moment with his lips wrapped around the base, breathing through his nose. He realizes he kind of likes the sensation, how he can feel Ryan’s muscles jump with tension under his fingers, how he has complete control now.

Ryan’s thoughts are a lot less coherent than that, mostly consisting of strung-together curses and reflections on how he’s feeling - things like “Justin looks small,” “want to do something for him,” and “really good for first time.” 

Justin gets himself into a rhythm. He barely goes as deep as he can, because feeling the head bump against the back of his throat is something he can only handle so often. Drool escapes from the corner of his mouth and runs down his chin, making the whole thing a bit sloppy. He uses a hand to accommodate where his mouth doesn’t quite fit, turning his wrist in time with the bobbing of his head.

He lets out involuntarily what sound like whimpers, little noises of pleasure he can’t hold back, but he never gags. Ryan’s stomach feels like a coil, wrapping around itself and getting tighter and tighter. He can feel his release building up inside him. 

“I’m close, Justin,” he huffs out, gripping the edge of the desk with white knuckles. He’s kind of hoping, of course, that Justin keeps going, but he can’t say he’s disappointed when he pulls off. He can understand not wanting to swallow on your first blowjob.

Justin puts more effort into stroking Ryan now, determined to get him off. It doesn’t take very long, just a few hard pumps and then Ryan’s groaning through gritted teeth and spilling over Justin’s fist as he’s hit with wave after wave of pleasure.

Once they’ve mostly subsided, taking deep breaths, Ryan looks down at Justin, who’s seemingly mesmerized by the cum painting his fingers. His erection visibly strains through his pants and his thighs shake with the effort of holding the upright position he’s still in.

“At ease,” Ryan jokes. Justin blinks and refocuses his eyes, like he’s waking up from something.

“Oh,” he says, then chuckles quietly. He sits back on his heels and returns his now-sticky hands to his thighs, which Ryan only has time to briefly think about the discomfort of.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Justin says, nodding. He stares at Ryan’s ankles first, then peers up at him, almost as though he’s nervous.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Ryan asks.

“Whatever you want,” comes the quick answer.

Ryan’s quick to act, helping Justin to stand up and maneuver their bodies into a new position; he all but drops Justin onto the desk chair, swiftly unbuckling his belt for him.

“Jesus,” Justin mumbles. “Manhandle me, why don’t you.”

“You said whatever I want.”

“And I meant it.” Their eyes meet, both looking for confirmation, for reassurance.

When Ryan’s sure he has confirmation, he says, “Justin, take out your cock.”

“Do  _ not _ use your editor task voice right now,” Justin groans. “One, gross. Two, you’ll give me a complex.”

“Maybe I want you to have a complex.” Ryan leans in, taking careful note of the flit of Justin’s eyes down to his lips, how he licks his own lips quickly as if to prepare. Ryan lets one hand drift to the back of Justin’s neck, fingernails grazing the short-cropped hair, and finally, finally lets himself kiss him.

Justin is soft and pliant, letting Ryan lead. He gives it a minute before he slips in his tongue, which Justin also allows; the room only has the whirr of the computer’s fan and the wet smack of their mouths slotting together, until it’s also punctuated by quiet, needy moans. Ryan’s hands aren’t on his lower half, but he can still feel the involuntary jerk of Justin’s hips up into the air.

“Are you okay?” Ryan pulls back to ask, breathless.

“Uh-huh,” Justin moans, eyes still closed, mouth still slightly open.

“Do you want me to touch y-”

“Please.”

Ryan unbuttons his jeans for him and shimmies them down, along with his boxers. Ryan shifts the positions of his legs, getting comfortable on the floor before him.

“This  _ is _ kinda scandalous,” Justin says, like it’s just dawned on him.

“The hierarchy here isn’t that serious,” Ryan says, before dipping his head and licking a long stripe up Justin’s dick. The boy shivers under him; if it weren’t for Ryan’s other hand pressing his hip down, he’d have jerked up into the sensation.

_ “God,” _ he whines.

Ryan envelops the head with his lips and tongues the tip, then traces along the underside of it. Justin’s hands fly out and grab at whatever they can reach, which is a small amount of hair.

“Fuck you for shaving your head,” he jokes.

Ryan’s quiet in bed, especially when he’s servicing. He’d actually assumed the same about Justin, just from the rest of his demeanor, but his nervous need to fill the silences is a pleasant surprise.

“This is good,” he hums. “I’m not gonna- this won’t take long.”

Ryan lets the dick slip out from his lips and transitions to stroking it rapidly. He pays special attention to the head, swiping a finger over the tip and smirking at the desperate sounds Justin’s started to make.

“I’m g- oh, God.”

“You like this, huh?” Ryan asks.

“Yeah. Fuck. I’m really close, okay?”

“Okay.” Ryan’s other hand nudges Justin’s thighs apart, and before the younger has time to register it, there’s a tender touch on his balls and then he’s coming, moaning into his hand to stay quiet. Ryan watches him with a genuine, dazed interest. Even sweating and struggling to catch his breath, he still looks cute. Still looks like the same Justin he’s always wanted to hug and kiss and take care of.

He’d been so worried that acting on the things he felt would change their relationship for the worse that he’d never even considered how it might make things better.

Justin picks his head back up, still huffing, and gives him a lazy grin.

“That was really good,” he says.

Ryan laughs and half-stands, kissing Justin again before holding his dirty hand up. “We should go clean up.”

“And then we can go?” Justin asks.

“And then we can go.”

They take care of the pressing matter quickly, resolving to shower once they’re back at Ryan’s place. The only thing keeping Justin from falling asleep on the ride home is that he’s busy wondering when he’ll find a good time to announce his plan to move to LA.

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on tumblr babeyyyy


End file.
